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nuclear family

by Ifrits

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1.
a scratch 03:17
i can't stand up on my own i'm too hot, then too cold the seeds were unerringly sewn i was young, and now i'm old the skins dry and it's crying out but i can't choke the water down a permanent apology i've always been, will always be we've had this talk before but i had mine, and you had yours i know how the story goes i've gone far, but can't go more. f c e f c f c e
2.
back here 02:14
teeth marks on the plastic pick i’m always chewing on a telephone that i dont use except to call my mom she says she’s worried that i can’t move on my best friends sister has been passing out an awful lot i find her sleeping in the bathtub, lips coated in spit, coated in snot i can’t bear to tell her brother that we’re back here again and i have no lips i have no mouth i have no tongue i have no mother i have no father i have no god i have no one i am an isolated incident i am an isolated incident i am an isolated incident i am an isolated incident f dm a# a# am dm a# f a# dm
3.
waste 02:03
she’s always fixing her hair she’s got a ten yard stare she’s always glancing at the bathroom for an excuse to check her phone again she’s thinner than can be healthy, and the way she says my name makes me want to die i’m not trying to fix you i’m trying real hard not to peek do you want to go for a walk? do you want to sit in the dark and not speak? i’ve known her for four days in every single way she seems better than me inky black eyes will cut you down to size i think i’m starting to worship the air she sighs i know she’s just a girl but i’ve never talked about anything to anyone before i know i’m setting myself up to fall but i don’t mind you can tie my hands behind my back and tell me all the ways i’m nothing but a doll to you i dont want to go to waste capo on 2nd bm g d f#m g d bm a
4.
ex-boyfriend 02:44
(im really sorry)
5.
all right 01:59
stab myself in the leg where the artery goes interlocked with another puzzle piece under my clothes and my blue jeans fuse to the doubt that i use as a washer between myself and the fear of bad news i hold my head underwater and make believe mark my skin with a chlorine sheen the pool boy curse put on me can i be done now? can i be done now? Tick tock went the clock and the whole world sighed Another stupid kid cutting warning signs And I’m sorry that I cant get over anything at all in the same spot now that I was last fall Everything looks different when I’m standing on my head And I’ll never feel full without someone in my bed And the sky looks darker than it ever has before The spot you took my breath away has turned into a sore Maybe I’ll never be alright Maybe I’ll never be alright Your cold fingers on my waistband, and I suck in tight Maybe I’ll never be alright c f am7 am7/g f c am7 am7/g
6.
self esteem 02:51
i’m counting toys that i owned as a kid because i’ve got nothing else to do and it’s one in the morning, and i miss you everyone else is better than me at everything worth doing my lips are cracked, i’m getting mad that i’ve never ever broken a bone i’ve only got one scar, and it’s on my left arm, it’s from a burn, does that count? everyone would rather do anything with anyone else but me i really need to brush my teeth more but the bed is so inviting she’s a temptress, she’ll ask me and then spend all night hiding everyone has a scar, on their stomach and nobody seems to mind every single person alive, has a heart that’s pumping blood but not mine. not mine. capo on 3rd c am7 am7/g f f c g
7.
not at all 02:03
bite my lip, but i won’t hold my tongue you were my mom and i am your son talk about, don’t talk about me i am a beating heart tired, and held in place by two outdated parts talk about, don’t talk about me d g f#/d em g bm a

about

this album was made about moms, dads, suicide, drug abuse, loneliness, love, idolization, and trying your hardest to stay hopeful

credits

released August 26, 2013

i want to thank jayden and scott for listening to every demo i ever sent their way, for loving me when i couldn't love myself, and never giving up on me

thank you to everyone who ever supported me, whether it was through encouragement, promoting my music, or even just listening to it and feeling any sort of connection

thanks to tayler for the artwork
model for album art: declan buchan

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Ifrits

i write about important things, especially the unimportant things

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