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Pumpkin Seeds

by Ifrits

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1.
hospital bed 01:35
i am a hospital bed stay far away from me because everyone gets sick and everyone leaves me i am sitting crosslegged in my bedroom and i am constantly checking my phone but there are no signs of life and i'm pretty sure i'm on my own i'm always saying sorry i am a constant apology and everyone is sick of that and everyone is sick of me i am sitting crosslegged in my bedroom and i am constantly checking my phone but there are no signs of life and i'm pretty sure i'm on my own c# a#m f# c# f# g# f# g# c#
2.
killing time 01:41
i guess im a tattoo you were about to get when your best friend said "man, fuck that kid" and the way you asked to see my skin that i'm still talking about and i care a lot about what you think and i'm always laughing off something and i'm always breaking strings i'm always killing time and i'm an anxious sigh, let out from between your lips talking circles to a therapist that you don't even like try harder when it comes to your ex-girlfriend, or the boy she's fucking and i care a lot about what you think i'm always laughing off something i'm always breaking strings i'm always killing time c em f em f am f c em f c em f
3.
good luck 01:41
she spits in her left shoe for good luck she sees two different doctors because she's always throwing up she collects figurines and keeps them in a paper cup sometimes the owl or whatever it is sits at the window and watches she calls for her dad but he's not around he's out driving, bumming cigarettes, and talking way too loud i kneel in front of the old wooden chair the kind of weather where the shadows are hot unbutton your jeans, pull them down just a bit, and give you whatever i've got i was drunk and she was angry and that's all that i can think right now i was drunk and she was angry i don't want to grow up, or speak out loud c am c f g c
4.
i've been waiting for 18 years to find a girl who looks like a boy i've had the habit of licking my pens it doesn't mean shit now, it didn't mean shit then and i will not apologize i will not apologize i'm not sorry at all for the things you heard about me i know a thing or two about you i'm an accidental death i'm the boy who bled to death from picking the scabs that your parents talked about and i will not apologize i will not apologize c# g# a# c# g# eb c# g# c# f#
5.
two upper lips, two lower lips your fingers curled inside my fist and i wait for a moment when it comes i'm sure i'll know my mouth pressed under your nose and your breath inside my lungs when i was born i was born a wolf they took my claws, they gave me hooves they skinned my fur and broke my teeth but left my fangs for memories day by day i tried to move and night by night i licked my wounds and dug a hole that i could call a home and everyone was watching me as i tried so hopelessly i dug my paws so deep in the mud i was beaten, i was alone outside the forest north of rome and i said "i will learn to walk again, my claws are sharp, my teeth run red" and i will pay back all the things you did! c# g# a#m f# g# f# c# d# f f#
6.
a question lit the cigarette you paused between the drags for breath you were new at this and everything impressed me the way your hands moved back and forth and never seemed to leave the door had me waiting stiff you talked about your father you fished for your purse near the foot of my bed oh god don't let her leave just yet you took my intentions, dragged me to the floor and we kissed like the a-bomb killing our kids the fallout giving the next ones cancer we fucked like a jumper on the golden gate bridge who made up their mind on where living is i hesitated to answer your phone you left it with me and you went on your own the corner store open at this time of day right next to the bus stop four blocks away capo on fourth c am em f g f c
7.
spiders 03:00
there are a lot of different kinds of spiders and not all of them have eight eyes did you know? did you know? did you know? that girls like to date jerks and i guess boys like to be them did you know? did you know? did you know? the difference between venom and poison is easy to remember i don't ever want to feel like i did last december did you know, did you know, did you know? it was christmas time, and i was scared out of my mind i wore the same shirt for a week for you, so it would smell like me to you did you know, did you know, did you know? once i fell in love, fist to face, hand in glove i said it then and now again, you will never understand did you know, did you know, did you know? there are a lot of different kinds of spiders and i've got two bites on my right arm did you know? did you know? did you know? capo on 1st g c
8.
peaches 02:25
i like calvin klein sweaters and i like writing you letters you'll never read i like wearing tattered clothes and i like the way that when it's cold your nose gets red my fingernails are always kept real short when i'm nervous i can't help but to resort to them permanent scratch marks on my palm you make me so nervous, and you make me so calm you are a kiss on my wounds and i'd like to give you all that moves i wear your affections i carry you around wherever i go from town to town i wear your affections like a keepsake ring you make feel like anything at all you make feel like anything at all d g f#/d e/d
9.
in may, in the spring, ian stayed inside hung himself with the laundry line the idiot still spinning, and the vcr on pause seven thousand rain clouds given cause to cry love was on the lookout, she drove all over town but kurt was in the greenhouse, and didnt make a sound he was sitting silent, with his thoughts and veins and self and they found his body leaning by the windowsill capo on 3rd
10.
daddy issues 01:54
i left my house with daddy issues and money from my mom she said she threw away his pictures when he stayed away too long he was a no good, rotten, awful man and i'm his only son i would've been a drinker, cause my mother was was one too but i dont like the way it talks to me, or the way he talks to you i'm not a soldier, but i'm fighting in a war i go hunting for foxes and i come back with friends let them underneath my skin and they showed me where they'd been i woke up in the morning with an aching in my chest i chained myself inside a room, in some state i'd never been they'll always leave unless you find some way to threaten them be a man, kill your love, strangle it inside its crib i go hunting for foxes and i come back with wounds basement door kicked open, white walls a reddish hue i lie awake at night, and sometimes think of you f c am g
11.
the bomb 02:16
i've felt like a fuck up since my daddy left and i used to wish that he'd show up and i used to dream about what he would say but now i'm real sure if he showed up i'd tell him to stay the hell out of my way i've felt like a failure for as long as i've lived and i used to wish that i'd blow up i used to dream of the bomb i would be but now i'm real sure if i blew up i'd throw myself into the sea

about

this is a collection of songs from the last two years that i've never formally released before

it's name your price, so grab a copy and listen! a lot of these songs are some of my favorites that i've done.

i think this is probably the most "me" album i've released, just because it covers most of the places ive been personally the last couple years, and doesnt restrict me to just one incident or area like i do with a lot of my other releases for the sake of coherency

credits

released November 27, 2013

thanks to scott mcgough for the album photo

thanks to jayden and london and all my friends

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Ifrits

i write about important things, especially the unimportant things

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